Between all the traveling, last-minute shopping, sugar comas, and general holiday hustle and bustle, the Christmas season can come and go in the blink of an eye like one glittery, gift-wrapped dream—or, in the case of these strange Christmas song covers, like a weird, seasonal fever dream.
At face value, one could argue these covers of Christmas classics aren’t that weird. But if you could go back in time before these artists released their distinctive renditions, and someone described to you what these songs sound like or which people they feature, you’d probably think they were yanking your chain.
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But this hypothetical person isn’t messing with you, and neither are we—although we can’t guarantee that these Christmas covers won’t mess with you just the same.
Ozzy Osbourne and Jessica Simpson’s “Winter Wonderland”
Pop star Jessica Simpson and former Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne have two incredibly unique voices. In 2003, these two instantly recognizable singers joined forces for MTV’s The Osbourne Family Christmas Special, during which they performed one of the strangest versions of “Winter Wonderland” you’ll ever hear. There’s something about Osbourne’s powerful timbre belting out the words, in the lane, snow is glistening, that just sounds…weird. Simpson’s performance didn’t clear up much confusion. In fact, we’d argue her presence only added to it.
Jason Kelce and Stevie Nicks’ “Maybe This Christmas”
Be honest: if someone told you in 2011 that Fleetwood Mac frontwoman Stevie Nicks would collaborate with Eagles center Jason Kelce in 2024, you’d probably think they were describing an eccentric Saturday Night Live performance. But here we all are, living in a world where rock ‘n’ roll and football royalty join forces for a sugary sweet of “Maybe This Christmas.” Kelce included the song on his 2024 release, A Philly Special Christmas Party, the third in a series of fundraising albums recorded by Kelce, Jordan Mailata, and Lane Johnson.
Bob Dylan’s “Here Comes Santa Claus”
If Bob Dylan has proven anything throughout his prolific, decades-long career, it’s that he’s going to do exactly what he feels like doing, regardless of who asked for it. Such was the case for his 2009 rendition of “Here Comes Santa Claus” off his holiday album Christmas in the Heart. Dylan’s weird Christmas song oscillates between a Tom Waits-y growl and a warbling baritone in his version of this seasonal classic. Is it a little creepy? Yes. Do we think that Dylan cares? Definitely not.
Guster’s “Carol of the Meows”
The only thing that’s more fever dreamy than Guster’s 2004 take on the iconic “Carol of the Bells” is the fact that the band included the song’s “lyrics” in the YouTube description. But rest assured, reader: you’re not hallucinating on too much eggnog. Guster’s “Carol of the Meows” is exactly what you might think: the Ukrainian melody composed by Mykola Leontovych sung entirely in cat meows (well, technically, humans imitating cat meows). Here’s a fun holiday challenge: throw this one on the family party queue and see how long it takes for everyone to notice.
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