Once an artist releases a song into the world, they lose control of its public interpretation, which has led to a lot of downright creepy, weird, or even hateful songs being mistaken as love songs. Awkward.
Whether you’re looking for Valentine’s Day music to avoid this year or are on the search for additions to your anti-love playlists, these five songs certainly fit the bill. Upon first listen, one might assume they’re sweet odes to someone special. But a closer look reveals these songs’ seedy underbellies.
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“The One I Love” by R.E.M.
The 1987 R.E.M. classic “The One I Love” starts with the line, This one goes out to the one I love. So, we can’t say we’d blame anyone for thinking it’s a love song—at least a couple seconds in, anyway. But listen to the rest of the verse, and things get decidedly less romantic. This one goes out to the one I’ve left behind, Michael Stipe continues. A simple prop to occupy my time.
Uh…what? Let us know if you know of anyone who would find their partner calling them a “time-occupying prop” attractive. We don’t think that kind of human exists, but who knows. We could be wrong (probably not).
“Every Breath You Take” by The Police
By now, most people have caught on to how insanely creepy the Police’s 1983 track “Every Breath You Take” really is. Nevertheless, a few naive lovebirds will sneak this song onto a romantic playlist or heartfelt song request, fully unaware that this song is the definition of “stranger danger.” Every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you.
Even the songwriter, Sting, realized it was creepy after he wrote it. Although he originally wanted it to be “seductive, enveloping, and warm,” he later said in an interview for Daniel Rachel’s Isle of Noises, “I saw another side of my personality was involved, too, about control and jealousy.”
“Love the One You’re With” by Stephen Stills
Taking a quick detour into the folk-rock realm, we have Stephen Stills’ 1970 pseudo-love song “Love the One You’re With.” At first glance, the easy listener seems to celebrate the importance of honoring and appreciating your partner. What is often lost on the listener is that honor and appreciation comes despite the narrator wishes he was with someone else.
Love the one you’re with might be romantic. But the second verse is far less so: Don’t be angry, don’t be sad. Don’t sit crying over good times you’ve had. There’s a girl right next to you, and she’s just waiting for something to do. Yeah, like waiting for her partner to stop daydreaming about his ex, maybe?
“All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” by Heart
Heart’s 1990 track “All I Want to Do Is Make Love to You” is, in a couple of words, deceptively gross. The song’s hook might sound lovey-dovey enough, but the track is actually about a woman who picks up a hitchhiker and takes him to a hotel with the intention of him impregnating her. I told him, ‘I am the flower, you are the seed.’ We walked in the garden. We planted a tree. Subtle.
The song that actually isn’t a love song at all was so off-putting that the band stopped performing it live. Heart vocalist Ann Wilson went so far as to call the song “hideous” in a 2015 interview, and honestly, we can’t say she’s wrong.
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